guido the fat orange cat

I've had a running story line in my head concerning my cat. Yes, my cat. I think it'd be a funny comic or a children story but for adults or if you wanted to teach your children about organized crime from an early age.  Which I disapprove of so really it might just stay right here.

You see, there is this cat and he is an orange tabby cat and FAT.  Not Phat, FAT.  He is a huge, huge cat.  My cat, the lovely and very old, Pewter is a small, danty old girl who I believe is being bullied by who I've named Guido, the fat orange cat.  I'm pretty sure in the cat world, his name is the same.  And this is because my cat at least TWO times a day meows and whines for food.  A big scoop of dry food and one can of nice wet food should suffice.  Nope, our cat will sit at our front door and cry her head off until we give her food.  Not cheaper and more reasonable dry food, but a nice can of shredded chicken and salmon dinner.  We gave in a few times.  Well, okay, I gave in a few times because I am a wimp.  Bad cat owner but my nerves just can't take all the whining around our house sometimes via the feline and canine population.

THEN one day, I hear the cat bowls sliding around a bit.  It's a loud racket not normal for our sweet Pewter.  I come to the door and low and behold, GUIDO, THE FAT ORANGE CAT. I mean he wasn't Guido, the fat orange cat at that time but over the course of weeks, there emerged a pattern.  This is  how I think it goes:

Guido: "Pewter, ya dumb cat, tell your owners I need the goods or else."

Pewter: "Ah sir, I don't know if I can get it to you more than one time a day."

Guido: "Fool if you value your life and still want leads on top vermin in the area, you'll get the goods at least twice a day."

Pewter: "But sir..."

Guido: "I don't want to have to say it again. Get the goods and live.  Don't and your days are numbered and say goodbye to those tasty mice you love so much."

Pewter: "Ok, sir, okay... give me a few weeks to get the owners trained."

Guido: "Weeks?  weeks!? You got days.  It'll be hours if you don't leave me alone and go get to it."

Pewter scurries off.

End scene.

And there you have it.  The dark underworld of catdom. I'm pretty sure that this is based on a true story.  I'd venture to say that this is the real story with gory details left out.  You'll just have to stay tuned as the story progresses.  All I will say is that lately there has been another cat in town.  Not sure who is who but little does that catty poo know that I got my eyes on him and that if Guido is bringing this guy around for reinforcements, well, hmm, I'm not sure what will unravel in this litter box called life.

Ok, enough.  I'm going to bed.