This is it... and it's kinda weird.

Yesterday, we admitted my mother-in-law to the hospital for a full work-up before she transfers to a nursing home on Thursday.

Needless to say, it's been a very surreal few days. We aren't quite sure how to feel. We feel relieved, anxious, happy and sad. We came home after spending the day at the hospital yesterday and it just felt weird. We both "heard" mom-like sounds at times and had to stop ourselves from thinking we had something to do before the evening was over. We went out to dinner and ran errands both feeling a gravitational pull towards our home even though we had no reason to be there other than just the choice to be there. Very weird.

I returned to work today after taking the day off yesterday and I just felt tired. I feel the constant stress and adrenaline rush gradually leaving my body and yet still on edge until the final transition happens on Thursday and hopefully, the MIL gets adjusted to her new life. I'm not feeling too hot physically although I'm feeling a little better tonight. I hear my body and mind aching of self-care. I will heed the call. Now is the time.

Tonight felt better than last night. The husband has been passed out on the couch for the last several hours. He is sleeping so soundly. I can't imagine all the rest he is going to need because of all that he has been through.

I'm looking forward to this new chapter. I just need a long nap and a little less drama and I'll be ready.