on a lighter note...well at least the first paragraph

James and I went swing dancing tonight. We tagged along with some friends from school/work and were celebrating a birthday. It was a lot of fun! We took a lesson before open dance and then spent the rest of the night trying to implement what we had learned and then also add a little bit of what James already knew. Swing dancing has different styles and trying to cross over those styles was a bit of challenge for James. It was all a challenge for me since I know nothing. He knows West Coast Swing and we learned a wee bit of the Lindy Groove stuff. It's like learning a different language and then trying to just stay in one language without reverting back to what you know. Frustrating to say the least, right??!! Yet all in all, we had a GREAT time and it is for sure we want to learn some more of and continue to get out there and dance. Great exercise and something fun to do together. I realize I love to dance. I like the choreography of a Step Class or a TKB class at the gym and then grooving to the music makes my heart and soul dance too.

The cool thing is that this was the first social thing we've done since my MIL's stroke. We went out to a movie for the first time last Sunday and then tonight we hung out with friends and did something fun and active. Both were James' idea as I am letting him take the lead on what he feels like he needs to do for his mom, etc. I like that he is thinking about the "us", wanting to connect with friends and realizing that having fun is good not only for us but helps us be better people, a couple and therefore better caregivers to his mom. Twice this week he had lunch with co-worker's/friends and he is taking the initiative to connect with these friends. I have been grateful for his desire to do these things.

One of the many things I love about James (and one of the main reasons why I wanted to marry him) was his ability to mature, grown and learn from his life and the circumstances he has been through. He never ceases to amaze me as he continually improves himself. I honestly lose sight in the hard times of how lucky I am to have a man who loves me so passionately and definitely...and changes and evolves as a person. I feel beautiful, safe and secure in his arms, his eyes and in his heart. Our differences often drive me nuts but they also bring such an amazing balance in my life. He is just what the doctor ordered for what I needed for my soul. That isn't a one time process either but is an ever-evolving revelation in my life that continues to takes on different shapes, sizes and colors.

We haven't had an easy marriage. It is sad that I can say that after 4 1/2 months. Two months of kidney stone craziness, grad school/practicum chaos and with Jane's stroke this past four weeks...We've done through sickness...for worse...we were already in for poorer :)... and our future remains foggy and unclear but right now we are good. It feels amazing to be good and I love my husband so much that I couldn't imagine living this crazy, chaotic and unpredictable life with anyone else.