SWB Monday: muscle pull and 30 years

the desolation:
I pulled a muscle last Tuesday morning in a step aerobics class. I was eagerly doing my routine in the back of the class when suddenly I felt like someone punched my left calf or threw something at it. I looked behind to find nothing and then realized that that punch came internally. The thought that came into my head: Get out of gym. Call James. I nearly passed out two times limping to my car. I called him and cried. I was so scared. I made it to the doctor although had to have a medical assistant pick me up at my car because at that time I could no longer walk. James met me at the doctor. Motrin, Vicodin and Flexerall... lots of resting and icing and it turned from a ton of pain and no walking to the subtle limp and occasionaly burst of pain. I am not a good patient. I'm over it! Looking back, I realize how irrational I was... should have stayed at gym where surrounded by people and trainers... Nope, all I could think of was calling James. I never had that boy to call to come and be my hero. I'd take no muscle pull for sure but having him to depend on was something different and good for me.

the consolation:
I'm turning 30 on Friday! Yipee!! Granted for most of my 29th year, I dreaded the reality that I was going to turn 30 but now I really look forward to Friday marking another phase of life which is to come. I've often heard that your 20s are crap and most of it is spent figuring out who you are as a person via making stupid mistakes, etc. I'd have to agree with that. I'd say the last five years specifically have really been the hit bottom and crawl back up to a new and better way of being. Life isn't so black and white as I turn 30. I pick my battles. I don't get as easily angered or frustrated. I have an insatiable curiousity but am focused on only a few things that I feel like are my part in making a mark in this world and in the kingdom of God. I enjoy the simple things of life and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. I'm not as quite in a hurry as I used to be. I'm less judgmental of people but maybe a little less optimistic as well and I've finally realized that I can't change anyone. I'm not as thin as I hoped to be but realize that eating right and exercising isn't all about being skinny. I don't talk as much as I used to and I'm more content to listen. I have more opinions and feel assured of what I want or don't want but feel less of a need to assert the majority of them. I was a door mat before but now I say no a lot more often. I've resigned my costumes of super woman and the messiah. I don't have to please everyone or anyone for that matter. I'll just be a marriage and family therapist and love on the family and friends God has given me. I'm okay with the fact that that's all I can handle and want to handle in life. So, happy birthday to me! Thank God for the last 30 years and here's to the next 30 years being the best ever...I hope!